- My dad is one of the most hypocritical and ignorant people I have ever seen. The others are some of his so-called friends. He thinks he is a somebody, especially when compared to his childhood and youth. He has a lot of face in front of outsiders, and only the people who are closest and most intimate with him know what kind of “face” he has; even his parents, my grandparents, can’t see his true face now.
- He swells his face to look fat in front of others, and does whatever his friends ask him to do, prioritizing his friends’ needs. Therefore, he has a lot of friends, friends he thinks of as his own. He treats his friends as his family, and how could he not have many friends. His “friends”, I don’t want to contact any of them. Outsiders would think he is diligent, kind, and down-to-earth, and if they contact him for a long time, they would think his character, personality, and way of dealing with people are not bad; he actually has a tendency to violence, he beat my mom when he was young, he didn’t read much, but since I was young, he would verbally humiliate his family. Just like when he was young, he was humiliated by others, he picked up the words of those who humiliated him and used them to humiliate his family.
- My mom said she was my dad’s punching bag. I feel very sorry for my mom when she was young… Until now, I also feel sorry for myself.
- My dad knew the role of money from an early age: he learned to drive: gave gifts and money to the coach. I graduated from junior high school: he invited the teachers in my class to eat and drink, but the teachers didn’t help much with my grades, and even advised me to apply for a lower-level high school in the city. He thought I got into a good school mostly because of the teachers’ credit. I went to high school: he invited the head teacher to eat; he “climbed” to my grandmother’s relatives – a teacher in the junior high school department of the school, and asked them to take care of me more. How did they take care of me? They invited or allowed me to go to their house for free meals on weekends.
- Here I want to thank my relatives for their help, although it later had a reverse effect. I only blame myself at that time for not feeling “not so necessary”.
- My dad may have helped me the most financially. He must have thought so… Could you continue studying without money? When my grandfather (outside) was still alive, he once told me that if no one let me continue studying, he would find a way to send me to college; thinking of the scene at that time, tears couldn’t stop flowing.
- In my dad’s eyes, maybe I’m a “retarded child”. I need connections to continue studying, connections to find a job. He thinks I’m like him. Connections are his “kingdom”, not mine. Sometimes, his teeth-gritting scolding of his family’s morals, corresponding to his flattering smile to his friends outside, makes me want to hit him. But I won’t hit him, at most I’ll clash with him verbally.
- He’s not like I describe him either. He has a lot of friends outside, and he has a good reputation. Just like he thinks, he gave me money to study, to go to college, so now I have the opportunity to “humiliate” him with words.
- I’m not like him. I’m not him, and I won’t become him. I walk my own path. I am me, and I only want to be me. I thank him for everything he has given me, to my increasingly aging dad.